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Luckily, Davos flubs it right out of the gate as Jon’s ill-prepared hype man. After Missandei rattles off Daenerys’ full three minutes of titles and catchphrases, Davos pipes up with “This is Jon Snow. [955-second pause.] He’s King in the North.” Minutes later, he will accidentally reveal that Jon used to be dead. Davos, button up.

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Tyrion and Jon have a moment on the beach that reminds me of every time I’ve ever seen two old frat bros hanging out: they swap a few insults and talk about Tyrion peeing off the side of the Wall, a story we’ve all heard at least 95 times. (And it wasn’t really that funny or cool the first time.) They also talk about girls they have or haven’t boned, and Tyrion informs Jon that his marriage to Sansa was “unconsummated.” Jon gets the first points of the night (+5) for some good comedic timing and this facial expression:

The Game of Game of Thrones: season 7, episode 3, The Queen's

Одна из отрубленных голов в первом сезоне – манекен головы президента США Джорджа Буша. Создатели сериала уже извинились за это недоразумение.

Somewhere in all this, Varys and Melisandre have a weird conversation about nothing. It’s notable only because Mel says that both she and Varys will die at some point, in the country they’re in. Yeah… me, too. Moving on!

Ему нравится, как она устроена: сложности его уровней, монстры, нападающие из самых неожиданных мест, захватывающие битвы.

Well, if he means Bronn, the Tarly family, Jaime, and like 65,555 dudes in fancy red-and-gold outfits, they’re in The Reach, having a very easy time of sacking it. As Jaime is in charge, he gets +65 for taking the seat of House Tyrell, and if you’re playing with special teams, the Royal Army will rake in +65 as well.

Euron drags them into the throne room, and Jaime’s eyes almost pop out of his head when Euron throws them at Cersei’s feet and declares that he’s brought her “what no other man could give.” He turns the charm on full blast (+5), letting Cersei know that she deserves “more than a true friend,” and that “there’s only one reward” that would make him happy, wink, wink, Jaime convulsion. For good measure, he asks Jaime if he should put a finger in Cersei’s butt. Okay, enough. And yeah, in case you were wondering, this episode was written by Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss.

And here we get a little breakdown of Jon’s White Walker messaging problem. “People’s minds aren’t made for problems that large,” Tyrion tells him, suggesting that maybe it’s not so bright to wander around trying to convince everyone that they’re all going to die. I’m tired of hearing vague references to climate science presentation, but this has a more interesting dynamic than I initially thought, and Tyrion has to hold Jon’s hand through the logic of the conversation at every turn, eventually pretty much calling him an idiot for forgetting to ask about the dragonglass mine, his sole purpose in coming to Dragonstone.

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Джон Сноу - актер Антон Макарский
Мастер борьбы со злом.
Охраняет покой Семи королевств. Периодически разбивает женские сердца.
И главное: он победил смерть. Или…нет?